With many of life's problems I often turn to Hollywood for guidance. Where else would you learn classic life lessons like: you're never too young for botox, or Always look your best for the paparazzi. Or my personal favorite: whenever sexting a married man always save the texts for future blackmail.
This time Hollywood hasn't taught me a lesson, more like an observation about the world, and for this I must turn to Hollywood's favorite reality family the Kardashians, more specifically Kim Kardashian. Now after careful research and hours of in-depth analysis (which mainly included watching Keeping up with the Kardashians) I have concocted the "Kim Kardashian Theorem"
Now what is the "Kim Kardasian Theorem"? you may ask. It's simple, basically I have come to the realization that every family, whether from Hollywood or not, has one "Kim Kardashian". A "Kim Kardashian" is that one person in you're family that is the prettiest, the most successful, the most popular, and overall the person you despise, much like Kim Kardashian herself-do you get it now. Just as in the Kardashian klan Kim is clearly the most successful, most famous, and the prettiest. Now settle down haters yes the main cause of Kim's fame is due to her sextape, but look how far she has come since then. Kardashian co-own her own boutique D-A-S-H with her two sisters, has her own fragrance, made several TV appearances, wrote a book, again with her sisters, and many more. Also Her two night, four hour wedding special "Kim's Fairytale Wedding" brought in 4.4 million viewers Sunday, and 4 million viewers Monday, that's pretty impressive. It's clear that Kim is the supernova of the Kardashian family.
Hollywood is full of other examples of "Kim Kardashians".
Hilary and Haylie Duff: even though but Duff sisters are pretty irrelevant now no one can deny the fame of Lizzie McGuire, and Hilary is set for a comeback.
The Cyrus family: Billy Ray Cyrus has a whole trailer full of his spawn but only Miley Cyrus is the most known, sorry Trace.
Britney Spears and Jaime-Lynn Spears: Oh poor Jaime-Lynn held up somewhere playing mom while big sis Britney is still ruling the world.
The Jackson Family: two words Michael Jackson.
The Jolie-Pitts: the world better watch out when Shiloh takes over. See Hollywood is proof that in every family there is one that stands out above the rest.
It goes without question that I am the "Kim Kardashian" of my family. Let's face it there's no real competition, and my flawless skin, gorgeous eyes, distinctive cheek-bones, and pending success just seal the deal. But don't get all suicidal if you're not the "Kim K" of your family. Every family needs a Khloe-the witty, outgoing, loud one who isn't as pretty as Kim and many criticize for her weight (for the record she's not fat). Or a Kourtney- the sarcastic, bitchy one who is still pretty but not gorgeous and known for getting pregnant and her boob job. But heed my warnings my fellow "Kim Kardashians". Watch out for the "Kendalls" and "Kylies" in your family. They are younger family members that threaten your status as savior of your family. Everyone knows Kendall and Kylie are stunningly beautiful and it's only a matter of time before they become more successful than Kim. Whether you're a "Kim," "Khloe," "Kourtney," or even a "Kendall or Kylie" it doesn't really matter. Family loves you regardless of your looks or success- or at least that's what I'm told.
XOXO
hEVANly
