Ch-Ch-Changes

Dear Sinners,

If you're like me, which you should all strive to be, then you probably don't really care for change. Change to me is like hyndrangeas to Madonna; I absolutly loathe it. True my life isn't perfect and there's always room for improvement, but I'm comfortable and there's no need to mess with a good thing. Like the saying goes "if it's not broke don't fix it". Well much to my dissapointment change is inevitable and apart of life, so I guess I just have to suck it up.
But the best part about change is the chance to a fresh start, and everyone knows there are three times a year a person can start anew: New Year's, first day of school, and your birthday. Each event gives a person a chance to forget about the previous year's mistakes and sins and move forward with a fresh start and hopefully change for the better.
Luckily for me my birthday, which happens to be today hence this post, and the first day of school are within the same week. And I know what you're thinking "how can you improve on perfection?" but still like I said before there's always room for improvement.
But the most important part of change is moderation. Unless you're a danger to yourself or others or you're a cast member of Teen Mom, there's really no reason to make drastic changes to your life. The whole point of changing is to better yourself. So take it one step at a time making minor improvements. Also never change for someone else. Not to get all motherly on you but change has to happen within and for yourself. So cut out all the negative bullshit, and if you feel like you need to change for yourself then do it. That being said unless you're a hardcore drug addict or a prostitute then the above sentence doesn't apply to you. Go change yourself now! and while you're at it go to the health clinic. Who knows what diseases you're carrying.